My Birthday

For the past forty or so years, I have celebrated my birthday the entire month of September. This year we are extending it a bit and starting the festivities early. On August 31st my family is hosting a 60th birthday party for, you guessed it me. My very best girl friend Terri, is flying in from Nevada. We will celebrating her 60th birthday too. Also my sister-in-law Dottie shares my birthday. My kids in Georgia and Kansas will be here too. Abe and his wife Amanda (Terri’s son) will be coming in from Utah. I am so excited to share my special birthday with the ones I love.

Growing up we never really had a birthday dinner or party. No presents or anyone singing happy birthday.Just another day in the Murry house. The only birthday I remember is my 16th. I invited my new boyfriend Garry Barker, to have supper with us. Momma cooked a nice meal, we even has an angel food cake, with vanilla icing. Her and Daddy gave me a pair of dime store earrings that I treasured. I still have one of the earrings. After moving all over the world it is a miracle I have any at all.

Garry bought me a heart shaped pendent necklace with a single diamond. The jewelry store in Odessa wrapped it up real pretty.I had never received such an extravagant gift. Garry treated me so special. He told me the other day he knew from the first time we met, we would be together forever. Well it looks like he was on to something. I have no plans on going anywhere without him. We started dating around my birthday in September and was married in November. 44 years later, we are still together. Much older, sometimes wiser, but still madly in love.

Back to me, or better yet my party. We rented a banquet hall in Grain Valley. Lorrie is taking care of the decorations, the catering, invites, and all the other things involved in making this a special time. She wants some things to be a surprise, so she is keeping me out of the loop. I know as long as my family, and friends are there it will be perfect.

The Night the Boogie Man Came to get Me

Jenny’s Story Continue….
The Night The Boogie Man Came To get Me.

I was around thirteen the summer my family went on a week end outing to the Lake of the Ozark. This was a first for the family. They even rented a cabin on the lake. My older sister and her husband, Mom and Daddy,little sister Bettie, and Aunt Nell loaded up the car and headed south to the lake. Everyone but me. I refused to go. To this day I have no idea why I didn’t want to go. Mom and Daddy didn’t want to leave me home alone, but there was no way I was getting in that car. As the car pulled away , I began to have second thoughts as to my decisions to stay home alone.

We lived in an old two story house out the the country. At night you could hear the rats and mice in the attic and walls moving about. The house made all kinds of strange noises at night, but as long as mom and dad were there, it really didn’t bother me.

As night was growing near, the shadows, and sounds began to scare me. Even though it was summer, I shut all the windows, and doors. To make matters worse every room had a door leading outside, and there were no locks on the doors or windows.

I was sitting in the living room with the light turned on. The house had a single light hanging from the ceiling, that cast shadows in every corner. With the sounds I swear I had never heard before, and the faces I saw leering at me from the shadows, I was ready to run as fast as I could to the safety of my Momma arms. What did I get myself into? Why was I so stubborn and insisted on staying home?

Suddenly I heard a faint scratching at the window. I hurried and turned off the light. The scraping got louder and louder. Then I heard a voice say, little girl, why are you home alone? Little girl, this is the Boogie man, I’m going to come and get you. I hurried and moved chairs in front of the door , hoping to keep him out of the house. He knew I was in the living room, so I very quietly moved to the back bedroom. There I curled up in bed with covers over my head. Boy was it hot under all those covers, but that old boogie man never found me.

The next day when the family returned from the lake. I was told they had a family friend come over to scare me to teach me a lesson. It worked, I never wanted to stay in that house alone again. I also didn’t want to miss out on all the fun they had without me.

Getting Old

Getting Old
In my younger day I never dreamed I would ever be old, broken down,and sick to the point I forgot what it was like to be young and healthy.I don’t think I really forgot, I just pushed those memories way back in my foggy mind.

As we age, our friends and family are getting old right along with us.Our conversations has changed from making a living, and raising a family, to our health, operations, good doctors, bad doctors, hospitals, ER visits,medications, health insurance, and all the other ails of growing old. Of course I have to out do everyone by visiting not only all the ER’s in the Kansas City area, but Texas and Georgia as well. This makes the conversations more dramatic. ( at least the way I tell it)

I started thinking about how things have changed in my life both physically and emotionally. Here are a few of the areas that comes to mind.

Moving body parts…

In the seventies we lived in Turkey. I was asked to model for Garry’s photography class.I wore a red evening attire with no bra. All the body parts stayed where they were supposed to. I looked awesome if I do say so myself.

Last month we went to Florida. My left boob popped out of it’s vice like container, and slammed down on my chest resulting in a collapsed lung. I spent five days in the hospital. The doctors said I have COPD and double pneumonia. What do they know. Those puppies weigh a ton. Haven’t they heard about how gravity makes those body parts move?

Looking good in jeans….

In my younger, and much slimmer day I made sure my jeans fit just right. Heaven forbid if they made me look fat. I wore jeans that zipped and buttoned at the waist. With the blouse tucked in and a flat stomach I was ready to meet the world.

A few weeks ago,Garry and I were about to walk out the door to visit the local casinos . Garry said Babe what is all over your butt? I turned around and the entire butt was busted out. You could see all of my extra large white cotton granny panties. When I was young this would have devastated me. I would immediately assumed I had gained a ton of weight. Not so, the jeans were very old and comfy. The only thing I was worried about was did I have another pair of jeans that were as comfortable as the ones with the butt out. I should have wrote sexy granny on those white panties and wore them any way. I see the young gals wearing sweats with writing on their little behinds. Why not me?

To make up or not…..

When I was first married, and up until the time I stopped working , I wouldn’t leave the house with out make up. Now mascara and face make up seldom touches my old dry wrinkly skin. Garry says I look beautiful with out make up. Oh come on, really, a little or maybe a lot of make up wouldn’t hurt this old girls appearance. I do feel better when I take the time and put on a little makeup.

Hair style changes……

One thing that hasn’t changed (except for a few disastrous perms) is my hair. I have had the same sixties pixie style since first grade. This is the one thing I am totally comfortable with. I don’t care what the latest styles and trends are. I am keeping this no nonsense style. I like to think it’s my signature hair style, called The Babe.

I am sure there are many more changes and adjustment I have to make on this ever changing aging process. I thank God I am alive to accept and make these changes with grace and a since of humor. God is so good to us.

 

 

 

Sara’s Sleep

First of all, thank you, dear Mary, for allowing me to invade your bloggy space and plug my new book. Most of you probably already know that Mary and I have been friends since the 70’s. We met in Turkey and seemed to hit it off immediately. Our kids have grown up together, for the most part, and we’re as close as family can be without being blood. And her handsome hubs, Garry, is also near and dear to my heart.
OK, I’m going to move this along before the snot starts running down my teary-eyed face. I’ll just get a Kleenex and be right back…
I’m here today to pimp my very first published book, Sara’s Sleep. I am so very proud of this little novella that I can hardly contain my glee. It started out innocently enough…as a weekly soap opera on my blog. I would write a chapter a week and post it on Sundays. A funny thing happened though. People began to take notice. Some people, in fact, became downright addicted to the weekly episodes. It became a bit of a phenomenon for me. I was blown away by the positive response I continually received for Sara’s Sleep.
And then one day, the story ended. I was sad, but it was time for it to conclude. All good things come to an end, right? Well, not this time! My friend Karla at Adoro Books contacted me and asked if I would like to have Sara’s Sleep published. I was, of course, quite amenable to this request.
Actually, I jumped up and down and squealed like a little girl. But don’t tell anybody, ok?
Thanks.
So that’s how this whole thing started. Now I have Sara’s Sleep published and anyone can purchase it on Amazon. It costs 99 cents for the downloadable Kindle version, and $7.45 for the paperback. Just click on the following link to grab your copy now: http://www.amazon.com/Saras-Sleep-Terri-Sonoda/dp/0984800328/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1340301002&sr=8-2&keywords=sara%27s+sleep
If anyone wants their book autographed, I would probably jump up and down and squeal like a little girl again, and be very happy to comply. Just email me at tsonoda148@gmail.com and we’ll discuss the details.
So if you haven’t read the book, you’re probably wondering what it’s all about. Basically, it’s a story of a Mom and her daughter and their struggle to remain sane and find balance after a family tragedy. Sara, the Mom, goes through a series of dreams, and is often left wondering about their significance. Jenny, the daughter, experiences old and new relationships and the magic and amazement of a new child.
Mary also provided the beautiful drawing of Sara’s house that is included in the book. She’s quite the artist!
Sara’s Sleep is a quick read, one of which I am very proud, and hope you will find yourself enjoying soon. Please feel free to leave a review of my book on Amazon, as well. You can also do that on the link provided above.
If you have the time, be sure and stop by http://www.facebook.com/TerriSonoda on July 1st between 2 and 4 pm PST for the official Launch Party of Sara’s Sleep. There will be fun, frolicking and prizes.
Thank you again, Mary, for having me. I am so very humbled and thankful for this opportunity and for your friendship.

For Better For Worst

When was the last time you honestly thought about your wedding vows? Those sacred promises you made to God and your loved one. I know I love my husband more than anything, and have been a good faithful wife. That was about all I should be concerned with right? I decided to go over those promises I made so many years ago.

I Mary Murry take you Garry Barker to be my wedded husband. After almost forty three years I do believe I’m committed to that one.

 To have and to hold, from this day forward….. We have been each other’s best friend, companion, and partner from the beginning of our life together.

For better, for worst….. The better times have by far outweighed the bad times. Every stage of our lives is filled with wonderful memories. The early years when the kids were young were both mentally and physically taxing, but worth every minute. We had a blast during their teenage years. Then we were rewarded with the best gift of all our grandchildren.

For richer, for poorer…..In the beginning and for many years after, money was extremely tight. We barely had enough to pay the bills and buy groceries. Looking back those were some of the best times in our lives. We would play cards with friends almost every night, while the babies played together. Kool-Aid was the drink of choice, or the only thing we could afford to serve. Life was good.

In sickness or in health….. Thanks to the military and having jobs that provided good insurance we were able to take excellent care of our health. I have had my share of health issue, and Garry was always right by my side. Until recently Garry was blessed with good health. Then a heart attack, quadruple bypass, and staph infection changed all that. I have done my best to take care of him like he always does for me.

To love and cherish…..  After Garry’s illness I realized I had taken for granted all the little things my dear sweet husband does for me.  I have a new love and respect for this amazing man.

 Tell death do us part. We do believe we are in this for the long haul.

 I have decided I need to make a few revised marriage vows. Times have changed, but not my love and devotion to my Babe II.

Garry we have spent forty three wonderful loving years together.  From this day forward I promise to be a companion worthy of your precious love . I pledge to be by your side in good times and bad, and to be encouraging in sickness and health. I want the rest of our lives to be filled with our loving family and friends. We will cherish our memories of our past, and create many more together in the years to come.

Garry, I love you more today than I did yesterday, and more tomorrow than I do today.

Where Is My Passion?

Where did my passions go? Where is the laughter, the excitement to start a new day? Since December 19th 2011, the day my dear husband had his heart attack, our world has been spinning out of control. Every second is consumed with ensuring we are doing everything possible to get his health back.

During this time I discovered how precious our life together is. I found about a zillion things my husband does for me that I never gave a second thought. Milk and bread doesn’t automatically get replenished. The dog’s food and water bowels go dry. The 40 pound sack of dog food has to be bought and carried in the house. Then after they eat, the yard gets pretty smelly if you don’t pick up poop. Vacuuming, laundry, dusting, making the bed by myself, the list goes on and on. I know he has spoiled me rotten.

Since I have severe sleep deprivation, Garry had to drive every time we left the house. My favorite time of the day was when he held my hand all the way to work, and back home, while I slept in the passenger’s seat. I got my best rest during those daily commutes. I had to force myself to wear my CPAP machine. Now I am getting more sleep and am staying awake during those crucial times, like driving.

We are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Garry is getting stronger each day. We have started talking and planning a future of traveling, visiting the grandkids, and living our lives to the fullest. The passions for life are returning. Each day brings a new exciting challenge. I know one day soon Garry will be driving the car, holding my hand, while I’m sleeping, and all will be right again in our little world.

What Have I Missed?

It’s three o’clock in the morning, and I can’t sleep. There is nothing unusual about that, except this time I’m thinking about Garry and what he’s facing on Tuesday. Open heart surgery is a scary thing. Just the thought of being on life support for at least eight hours is unimaginable. To get my mind off the surgery, I started thinking about the past forty two years together. Everyone always asks me because I got married at sixteen, have I ever felt cheated of my teenage and early adult life experiences .Cheated? Oh my no, my life has been so rich and full I wouldn’t want to change a thing.

Yes I dropped out of high school after my freshman year. I missed the prom, graduation, school dances, and dating. I also missed drinking until I passed out, drugs, and the possibility of teenage pregnancy. My husband encouraged me to go to night school and I received my GED. When I was 27 I joined the Air Force. I was in the top 98% of my class, and was awarded the Air Force basic training honor graduate ribbon. In the military I worked in accounting and finance, and earned almost enough credits for an associate’s degree.

I was 17 when Lorrie was born and almost 19 when Larry came along. I didn’t have a clue on how to be a parent. All I did know was I loved my babies unconditionally and would do anything to protect them. Later in life we were blessed to have Rick come into our family. From these three amazing children came eight even more amazing grandchildren. Then the fun really began. Love, love, love, those grandchildren.

We became empty nesters by the time I was 37. We missed having the kids with us, but have enjoyed the opportunities that being alone have given us. Our current passion is traveling to places we have never been to, and San Antonio to see the kids.

As you can see I have and continue to have a very blessed life. Garry is my rock. Without his encouragement and support I wouldn’t have accomplished anything. He has always been there to tell me I am a strong woman and can do whatever I put my mind to.

I know Garry will come out of this surgery just fine. I hope I can be as supportive and strong as he would be for me. We have many more years ahead, and I don’t want us to miss a thing together.

Waiting

Waiting, it seams like I have been waiting all my life for one thing or another. It all began when I was around three years old, and I found out about Santa Clause through my older sister and brother. We waited, and waited for the night to come when we would get goodies from this big round jolly guy called Santa. Everyday I would ask Momma if it was Christmas yet. She was beginning to get upset with me for constantly asking, when he finally came. He left us with our stockings filled with apples, oranges, nuts and candy. Now that was worth waiting for.

Then there was the Easter Bunny. We always got a new Easter bonnet to wear to church. We didn’t get store bought bonnets, but Momma would make ours out of head bands and netting. We thought they were beautiful and were so proud to wear them. We also got a basket or bucket filled with hard boiled colored eggs and a little candy. After dinner we had an egg hunt in our front yard.

I was in the first grade when the kids told me about the Toothy fairy. They said if you put your tooth under your pillow he would leave you money. I wiggled and wiggled that tooth until it finally came out. Sure enough I found a nickel under my pillow the next morning. When the grandkids lost a tooth last year they got five dollars. Inflation certainly hits all aspects of our lives doesn’t it?

My personal favorite time is birthdays. You have to wait until you are six to start school. Most of us girls were around twelve before we official become a woman. Thirteen is always a big year. Our parents made us wait until they thought we are old enough for make up, cell phones, dating, and anything else that they aren’t ready for us to do yet. Your sweet sixteenth birthday is special. High School graduation comes and goes and you are in college or working, or both. When I was in the Air Force, it was hurry up and wait. If anything it taught me patience.

After waiting what seams to be a lifetime, and if you are very lucky, you find the love of your life, and get married. You decide to have children, and wait another nine long months for the bundle of joy to arrive.

I couldn’t wait until I got old enough to retire, to start enjoying the golden years. The time finally arrived and I begin to have heath problems. I had to wait to be seen by the doctors, wait for the test results, wait for another doctor’s oppinion, and then wait for a surgery date, and finally wait to get better…

I think it is good that we spend our entire life waiting. Waiting allows us the time to truly appreciate whatever it was we were waiting for. I’m looking forward to many years of things to wait for. There are places I haven’t visited, good times spent with my children, grandchildren, family and friends, and many more adventures I haven’t thought of yet. So I will continue to wait and wait, and wait…

What Was I Thinking?

Throughout the years I have done some really wild things to my hair in hopes to change the usual straight as a stick, at one time mousy blond, boring hair. After each change I said to myself, “What was I thinking?” Anytime I deviate from the usual short 1960′s pixie style, I would have to live with the disaster for months afterwards, until it grew back to the usual Mary cut.

In the eighth grade I decided to change my hair color to black. I went from blond to black in a matter of minutes thanks to a bottle of black hair dye. Back in the sixties going Gothic was not in vogue. I looked ridiculous. It took the entire year for it to grow out. I have no idea what my fourteen year old mind was thinking.

When I was around twenty I went to a beauty school to get my hair frosted. Since money was real tight I had them do a heavy frost. My hair turned out almost completely white all over. That was the one and only time I visited a beauty school.

I decided to change from straight to curly, so a perm was just the thing I needed. Wrong. The perm burnt my hair so bad; it broke off to the scalp in many places all over my head. I wore a scarf most of the time to cover up the mess. About every ten years after that I would get another perm with the very same results. To keep making the same mistake, I believe I had periods of amnesia, or stupidity, or both.

In 1992 I retired from the Air Force. After all those years of the same old boring blond hair, I decided to become a red head. So the night before we were to leave for Germany to visit Larry and Laurie I dyed my hair red. It wasn’t the normal auburn red, or strawberry red, it was purple red. We got off the plane, I saw my son trying to locate us in the crowd. He was looking right at me and didn’t know who I was. He was looking for his blond haired Mommy. At the time a lot of the German ladies had their hair that purple red, so I fit in quit nicely.

I have had long hair, bobbed hair, short spiky hair, and everything in between. It has been colored from black to white and about every other shade on the color charts. At times it was colored with three to four colors at the same time. Now that was just lovely.

I would always go back to the short 1960’s pixie style that has become my signature style. Nowadays I usually have it colored a dark golden blond. This style suites me and my life style just fine. For the first time in my life I know exactly what I’m thinking. I like myself and how I look… short blond hair and all.

There Should Be A Law

The United States government has established all kinds of departments to protect the citizens of this great county. They employee thousands of people to manage these government agencies. They are paid by our tax dollars, or rather by the tax dollars of people that still have jobs.

There are many good, much need government agencies in place to protect us from all types of mishaps. But there is one very important area the government has failed to get involved in. We the people of the United States need it to be a law that all public restrooms have the ladies on the right and men’s on the left. The signs on the doors need to be standardized, no more of those cleaver pictures and words that you have to decide which one I should go in. I’m a mature lady that doesn’t have the time or the bladder control to figure this out. I hate being surprised when I make the wrong choice. Men’s bathrooms really are nasty. You don’t want to make that mistake twice. We need this agency set up and the laws enforced immediately.

This would also help the unemployment problem. I suggest the government hire mostly females over 58. I know they can’t legally do that, so they can hire the young folks for the lower paying jobs. We the mature females need not only a uniform public restroom system in place, but a break in the work force too. This would be a good item for the Presidential debates. Maybe this could be the one thing they all agree on.